Surviving this will be a great accomplishment. Seeing something good come out of this would be nothing short of a miracle.

This past week has been the most difficult of any week of any semester at my time here at Wayland to date. It's not even over. I learned that my boyfriends father does not see me fit to be his son's wife, and firmly believes that I'll fail him. He is also encouraging him to look at other girls and dump me. He is also highly discouraging Edgar from coming home with me over Fall Break; he aims to separate us.

This comes at the worst time. I have a mid-term tomorrow that I haven't had any time to study for. I have a paper due Wednesday, but the rough draft is due tomorrow. I've written the introduction. It took me an hour and a half. I haven't had the time to go back to it. I still haven't finished my first painting for the semester, and I'm due to finish 6 before Christmas. I had Bible study last night (which was incredibly necessary), and a choir concert an hour away this evening, which took up an enormous chunk of my day. Yesterday morning I was also assigned to take pictures in Floydada, so that's where I went. Tuesday I have class in the morning, afternoon, and evening, plus a concert to attend, take pictures of, and interviews to do. My editor wants me to write my article that night and send it in. I seriously doubt that will happen. I have all that on top of my regular newspaper sections to do.

Thursday night I was stupid and stayed up all night. I know I have no excuse for that, and the consequences I deserved. I slept all day Friday and still haven't recovered.

Now with the issue with Edgar's dad, so much of my energy has been spent on that. Yesterday I sat down to study for my mid-term and before I could really begin my mom called about the issue and we ended up talking for an hour before I had to go to Bible study. No studying got done. Today I spent all afternoon writing an earnest letter of apology and explanation to Edgar's dad, something that I realized I needed to do if I wanted any reconciliation. I mail the letter tomorrow in hopes he might receive it Tuesday and allow Edgar to go to Fort Worth with me on Wednesday and not have Edgar end up on his bad side.

I got back from my choir concert at 9pm tonight. I realized I hadn't yet done laundry and I had no clean underwear. Studying paused. Had to go get quarters. Quarter machine out of quarters. Had to wait for John and his plethora of quarters. Started laundry. Studied more, though half-heartedly. Too tired to think.

Think all this, plus issues at home, issues (both positive and testing) with Edgar, and issues with friends and the general attitude of selfishness and defeat running rampant around here.

I'm living on prayers.

Today my Sunday school teacher said that some people have issues. Others have a full subscription.

I've got a subscription or two.

I need desperate prayer.

Desperate.